Dean Johns
9 Dec 2009
Try as I do every week to poke fun at the antics of Malaysia's clownish Umno/BN government and its cronies, I confess that, as my old blogger buddy Ktemoc recently pointed out, I sometimes lose my sense of humour. Like this week, for example.
However hard I strain to see the funny or 'punny' side of outgoing MACC chief commissioner Ahmad Said's comment that "Teoh Beng Hock's case is nothing. It's a very small case", I'm afraid I can't raise so much as a ghost of a smile.
In fact the best I can manage is a snort of contempt. As if it wasn't shameful enough to serve as the figurehead of Umno/BN's latest fake corruption-fighting body, Said has further personally and professionally disgraced himself with this crass attempt to make light of a case of suspected murder by his MACC henchmen.
At least I'm not alone in my failure to get a giggle from this gruesome remark. Lim Kit Siang, for example, blogged that Said's statement was "heartless and grossly insensitive", especially following his earlier and equally outrageous comment that "if people investigated could not withstand the pressure and jumped from the building, there was nothing that MACC could do".
Said might well be jumping early from his job, and laughing all the way into prosperous retirement, but if he lives long enough the joke could eventually be on him. Come the day that enough of the Malaysian people stop choosing to see the Umno/BN regime as some harmless national and international joke, and finally vote or force it out of office, chances are the nation will finally get a government that's serious about investigating and prosecuting 'small' cases of political homicide.
And as every law officer should know, there's no statute of limitations in cases of murder, or any amnesty either, for that matter, and this applies not just to the actual killers but also to their accomplices and accessories.
So for those of us who get a chuckle out of seeing politically-protected criminals getting their just desserts, there's a touch of gallows humour in the prospect of someday seeing some Umno/BN murder suspects go on trial.
'Small' cases, indeed
I'll personally die laughing the day that the 'small' case of Teoh Beng Hock's killing case is opened for genuine investigation followed by the trial of genuine suspects in front of a genuine court.
Ditto the small case of Altantuya Shaariibuu about which the elusive private investigator P Balasubramaniam, aka Bala, is still making "frivolous" allegations against Prime Minister Najib Abdul Razak.
And then, of course, there are countless cases to be made against members of the 'royal' Malaysian police concerning suspicious deaths in 'shoot-outs' and in custody.
But of course the eventual outcome won't be as jolly as the one I'm envisaging, as the moment a respectable government looks like gaining office in Malaysia, all the Umno/BN goons with the guiltiest consciences will use their ill-gotten gains to fund their getaways to greener pastures.
Meanwhile, the grim comedy grinds inexorably on, as horribly hilarious as ever, with Najib endlessly repeating his ridiculous 1Malaysia slogan and the irrepressible Dr Mahathir regularly stealing the limelight with his customary madcap remarks.
The latest inspiration for Dr M-style drollery, it seems, has been somebody's suggestion that Australia be asked to supervise the conduct of future Malaysian elections.
While no doubt well-intended, and motivated by a well-founded distrust of Malaysia's Umno/BN-biased Electoral Commission, I must say that I'm with the Mahathir in considering this idea ludicrous. Not, as the good doctor typically does, on racial grounds, but for purely practical reasons.
Intervention in any nation's internal affairs is a job for the United Nations, not for Australia or any other individual country. And in any case, Australia has enough problems keeping tabs on its own crooks and opportunists, especially those in property development with friends and contacts in state and local government, without taking responsibility for anyone else's.
The best Australia can do, in my opinion, is to welcome as many Malaysian migrants, students and visitors as possible, for as long as they're happy to stay here. Which brings me to one thing about Umno/BN that I've recently found at least mildly amusing: Najib's call for Malaysian expatriates to return home and help build a better nation.
I asked a young student I know whether he planned to move back when he finished his course, and he was so shocked, taken aback and lost for words he just laughed. Thereby expressing how a great many fellow overseas Malaysians must feel about repatriating to the kind of place where law-and-order and justice are a standing joke, the press is a pack of lies and evasions, and organisations like Biro Tata Negara (BTN) are paid with public money to promote racial division and distrust.
However, as much as I sympathise with Malaysians, including my wife and daughter, who wouldn't go back to live there if you paid them, I think it's a terrible pity. Because many of those who have returned, or have chosen to stay despite everything, may well prove the nation's salvation.
If serious journalists like Steven Gan and Prem Chandran hadn't come back, for example, there would be no honest alternative to the laughable 'mainstream' media. And if all the opposition politicians, bloggers, activists and other serious opponents of the joke Umno/BN government hadn't either come back or stayed put all along, Malaysia would be in an even more desperately derisory state than it is now.
A situation that's admittedly hard to imagine when the government's such a basket-case that its so-called 'anti-corruption' commission can get away with calling the death of a suspect in his officers' custody a 'small case'.
But I fancy that more Malaysians are, like me and my old mate Ktemoc, finding it increasingly difficult to see the funny side. And looking forward more than ever to the eventual day when we all enjoy the last laugh on the jokers of Umno/BN.
9 Dec 2009
Try as I do every week to poke fun at the antics of Malaysia's clownish Umno/BN government and its cronies, I confess that, as my old blogger buddy Ktemoc recently pointed out, I sometimes lose my sense of humour. Like this week, for example.
However hard I strain to see the funny or 'punny' side of outgoing MACC chief commissioner Ahmad Said's comment that "Teoh Beng Hock's case is nothing. It's a very small case", I'm afraid I can't raise so much as a ghost of a smile.
In fact the best I can manage is a snort of contempt. As if it wasn't shameful enough to serve as the figurehead of Umno/BN's latest fake corruption-fighting body, Said has further personally and professionally disgraced himself with this crass attempt to make light of a case of suspected murder by his MACC henchmen.
At least I'm not alone in my failure to get a giggle from this gruesome remark. Lim Kit Siang, for example, blogged that Said's statement was "heartless and grossly insensitive", especially following his earlier and equally outrageous comment that "if people investigated could not withstand the pressure and jumped from the building, there was nothing that MACC could do".
Said might well be jumping early from his job, and laughing all the way into prosperous retirement, but if he lives long enough the joke could eventually be on him. Come the day that enough of the Malaysian people stop choosing to see the Umno/BN regime as some harmless national and international joke, and finally vote or force it out of office, chances are the nation will finally get a government that's serious about investigating and prosecuting 'small' cases of political homicide.
And as every law officer should know, there's no statute of limitations in cases of murder, or any amnesty either, for that matter, and this applies not just to the actual killers but also to their accomplices and accessories.
So for those of us who get a chuckle out of seeing politically-protected criminals getting their just desserts, there's a touch of gallows humour in the prospect of someday seeing some Umno/BN murder suspects go on trial.
'Small' cases, indeed
I'll personally die laughing the day that the 'small' case of Teoh Beng Hock's killing case is opened for genuine investigation followed by the trial of genuine suspects in front of a genuine court.
Ditto the small case of Altantuya Shaariibuu about which the elusive private investigator P Balasubramaniam, aka Bala, is still making "frivolous" allegations against Prime Minister Najib Abdul Razak.
And then, of course, there are countless cases to be made against members of the 'royal' Malaysian police concerning suspicious deaths in 'shoot-outs' and in custody.
But of course the eventual outcome won't be as jolly as the one I'm envisaging, as the moment a respectable government looks like gaining office in Malaysia, all the Umno/BN goons with the guiltiest consciences will use their ill-gotten gains to fund their getaways to greener pastures.
Meanwhile, the grim comedy grinds inexorably on, as horribly hilarious as ever, with Najib endlessly repeating his ridiculous 1Malaysia slogan and the irrepressible Dr Mahathir regularly stealing the limelight with his customary madcap remarks.
The latest inspiration for Dr M-style drollery, it seems, has been somebody's suggestion that Australia be asked to supervise the conduct of future Malaysian elections.
While no doubt well-intended, and motivated by a well-founded distrust of Malaysia's Umno/BN-biased Electoral Commission, I must say that I'm with the Mahathir in considering this idea ludicrous. Not, as the good doctor typically does, on racial grounds, but for purely practical reasons.
Intervention in any nation's internal affairs is a job for the United Nations, not for Australia or any other individual country. And in any case, Australia has enough problems keeping tabs on its own crooks and opportunists, especially those in property development with friends and contacts in state and local government, without taking responsibility for anyone else's.
The best Australia can do, in my opinion, is to welcome as many Malaysian migrants, students and visitors as possible, for as long as they're happy to stay here. Which brings me to one thing about Umno/BN that I've recently found at least mildly amusing: Najib's call for Malaysian expatriates to return home and help build a better nation.
I asked a young student I know whether he planned to move back when he finished his course, and he was so shocked, taken aback and lost for words he just laughed. Thereby expressing how a great many fellow overseas Malaysians must feel about repatriating to the kind of place where law-and-order and justice are a standing joke, the press is a pack of lies and evasions, and organisations like Biro Tata Negara (BTN) are paid with public money to promote racial division and distrust.
However, as much as I sympathise with Malaysians, including my wife and daughter, who wouldn't go back to live there if you paid them, I think it's a terrible pity. Because many of those who have returned, or have chosen to stay despite everything, may well prove the nation's salvation.
If serious journalists like Steven Gan and Prem Chandran hadn't come back, for example, there would be no honest alternative to the laughable 'mainstream' media. And if all the opposition politicians, bloggers, activists and other serious opponents of the joke Umno/BN government hadn't either come back or stayed put all along, Malaysia would be in an even more desperately derisory state than it is now.
A situation that's admittedly hard to imagine when the government's such a basket-case that its so-called 'anti-corruption' commission can get away with calling the death of a suspect in his officers' custody a 'small case'.
But I fancy that more Malaysians are, like me and my old mate Ktemoc, finding it increasingly difficult to see the funny side. And looking forward more than ever to the eventual day when we all enjoy the last laugh on the jokers of Umno/BN.
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